This is how I feel....

It's hard to sleep when I feel this way. Even when it's obvious that I'm so tired. It's hard to explain how I feel. I feel as if I am at peace, and at a much greater understanding about everything. It's wonderful in full truth. I get this burst of energy, one could say, once a month anymore. It's happened at least once a month for several months now.

I can honestly say I am happy with life. I'm fat, but I'm happy with myself. I am slowly losing a bit of weight, and life in itself is just great. I'm single, and the happiest I have been in ages. Probably the happiest I have been since my Mother died.

Those where the days. Not a care in the world until my world came crashing down. I had so much to learn and in such little time back then. I was completely cut off by my Father at the time to go along with my new pain.

I can say it has took me years to fully get over the death of my Mother. I can say now that I have. Yes when I truly give it much thought tears fill my eyes. They have seen much in my short life. I know I'll get to see more.

I feel it going through my soul. It is unexplainable. I wonder how many people get this feeling. I need to find a way to use it to help others. To some how touch people in a good way, and fill them with joy. It's better then anything in this life. Peace, and joy.

It is like my soul is wrapped up in warmth that never ends.

Peace and God Bless,
Curtis

That's flat out crazy...

I'm sitting here chilling waiting for the Lakers and Magic game to start. This little seven year old is standing there to sing the nation anthem. She flat out killed it. It was insane how good she was at such a young age. That's flat out crazy.

Peace and God Bless,
Curtis

I have to say....

Sometimes I get rays of inspiration. It's amazing the feeling that comes across me. It is like my mind has been set free. it's more then wonderful. A feeling of calm and peace enters my soul and becomes part of me. I can feel it course through my veins as if it was my own blood. It is my life, and my essence. Everything that I have slowly become over the years that is full of knowledge and wisdom.

There's nothing better then the feeling of pure peace in my body. The most calming feeling that I have ever expereinced and pray that I continue to recieve such an amazing blessing. It is almost as if everything stands still as my body is consumed with this splended feeling.

It is truly amazing. I have to remember that no matter what hardships I my face on my path to just sit back and do nothing. Sometimes doing nothing, is in truth doing something. To just sit, and stare at what is before you. To let that feeling of consumed peace and wisdom course through your body and mind. To enter your soul and let it become one with you. It is you.

It is me. Sometimes when this feeling sweeps over me I am nearly brought to tears. It's undoubted unexplainable even though I try my mightist to let you have some insight on my life.

To many I am no one, but to many I am everything. I may see you one day, and never see you again for years down the road only to reappear. I'm not much different then what I once was, but I have become greater. The impact I have on one is great.

I know this because many has told me so. The memories that I leave with them. Forever I am apart of that person. They will never forget that moment in time, nor will I.

Every day is the greatest day of my life. Something amazing always happens and I am there to experience. The good, the bad, and the down right ugly days. Each day is a learning experience. I try every day to learn something about myself and who I am.

It's hard to explain me. When you see my smile, and hear my life it is that of the greatest joy. When I am sad it is the greatest sadness one will every see. When you see tears something of great feelings has emerged.

Peace and God Bless,
Curtis

Failed this weekend

I went to a PTQ last Saturday in Louisville Ky. Trying to get to Pro Tour Austin Texas. I thought my deck was strong, and due to a few things I have no control over I went 5-3. Two of my loses from 5cc Bloodbraid which is retarded with cascading. I had no sideboard for it because I feared B/W Tokens was going to be every where so my sideboard was heavy for Tokens and Faries. Nonetheless I seen each deck once. Beat the B/W Tokens and lost to Faries due to mana screw and second game him having the best hand they could ask for.

I know I'm going to do more playing, making changes, and all that good stuff. I plan on getting ready for Columbus and winning there since I didn't win in Louisville.

Peace,
Curtis

Sometimes I just don't know....

I didn't even give this any thought till a friend came over today. Then it really crossed my mind. Truth be told it does on a regular basis. I've just been to busy trying to study to notice.

I'm lonely. Out of all the people I know I never thought I'd be the one still single and here I am. Nearly all my buddies are married. Not only that but I don't like it.

I feel I've done something stupid. I've burned down so many bridges with girls it is retarded, and I regret that. I've hurt so many girls, and just turned my back on a few over silly stuff. I shouldn't have. There's one I think about more then I should. I feel I don't even have a chance to attempt to get her back, let alone fully get her back.

When I really sit down and think about it. Well it's depressing. I guess that's why I try to keep myself busy. That way I wont have to think about it.

It would be nice to have someone I connect too, and I've lost many I did with. I know my words probably don't matter since I've let her down several times before. While typing this I actually express my feelings to the fullest.

Forgive me, not only am I a jerk but a fool.

Peace,
Curtis

Thousands rally with 'tea parties' on tax day

Thank Obama for not saving our debt, and continuing spending money. So much you've spent is more then what the last three presidents done.

I'm so glad America voted you in so we can continue to lose money, and sell our debt to China. Before long we're going to be called the United States of China. Then World War Three will happen.

Many people are very upset with how Obama is doing things. I'm not tickled about it, but I didn't vote for the man either. Yahoo Article where people are upset, and having 'tea parties' on tax day.

Maybe I'll have one myself, or ask what classmates wish to join me in a late rally.

No, we wont be heard from Logan WV, but I'm not excited about our constant spending spree.

It's worse then a rich girl getting what she wants.

Yes we made History and we have a black president. We're still making history at having a failing economy for so long that we're on the brink of a second depression. There's no need to lie about.

You want to know how to fix it? Government spending needs to be focused on creating jobs.

Say 4mil jobs are made. That's more people paying for a home, and all the bill's that come with it. Those companies are going to need more people for customer support. Look, more jobs! Next those 4mil working people need food, and clothing. Business's are going to get busier, and will have to hair extra help. Look, more jobs!

Then all those people will spend more, and so forth. It's about us, as a people working and spending money. If we spend less, and business slows down then people get laid off and we lose more money in the long run.

Spend people. Spend like crazy because people are giving crazy deals.

I'm about to get a crazy deal on a new vehicle soon because mine fails. It run's great, but the look of a 95 that is slowly denigrating on its own isn't.

This man is my hero

Click here to read the full article from yahoo. A 13 year old girl ran up her families phone bill over 4k. Nearly 5k actually, and guess what. Her father took a hammer to the phone and smashed it. Most parent's these days would not have done that, nor grounded their daughter.

She went form A's and B's to F's within a few months, and you know what is funny. She was texting while in class. As you can tell the teachers in our education system, well not where I live, aren't doing their jobs. Naturally the Parents are trying to get phones banned from use at school, and they should be. A parent should be able to call the school if there is an emergency and vise versa. It was like that in my day, and where I live we still don't get a signal.

Props to the Parents for taking control of their kid. That will at least be one person that contributes to this country like they should when they grow up.

Thanks for reading,
Curtis